Mockodile Dundee

This is real Tudor - the servants' quarters at Windsor Castle no less - but the vehicle in the driveway is remarkably similar to the four-wheelers owned by mock Tudor dwellers back home in Perth.

Mock of Kintyre

In a heritage pronouncement as blundering as Michelle Roberts' one of October 25, The Scotsman of November 14 proclaims the following mocker one of the "14 Buildings in Scotland you must see before you die".

Why 14 buildings specifically, I do not know. Perhaps that was the Tudors' lucky number??? I do know Henry XIII had about that many wives.

Anyway, to quote The Scotsman:

"Kinloch Castle, Rhum, 1906 Leeming & Leeming
'I CAN scarcely describe the effect of the crowded Edwardian interior of Kinloch Castle,' wrote John Betjeman after visiting this opulent Scottish castle. The mock-Tudor house was built by the industrialist Sir George Bullough as a sporting retreat, complete with its own hydroelectric plant, air conditioning and telephone system. 'Kinloch castle provides a fascinating insight into social history and the mindset of the Victorian entrepreneur,' says Lewis."

Its own hydro plant, aircon and telephone system, eh? Add a power boat, pizza oven and Cocos palm, and a more ideal prototype for a modern mocker in Mullalloo you could not find.

In an unguarded mockment

During a recent visit to London, the couple of assumedly-original Tudors at the right and left of shot were snapped by my good wife Hazel.

Note the guard (bottom right of shot).

In England, he's there to keep people out.

If stationed out the front of a Western Australian mocker, he'd be there to keep the poor inhabitants in.

Blue Mockday

At 15A Malsbury Street, Bicton, the blue-lined Tudor trim provides a smart alternative to the usual black.

Again, note the Cocos palms, and power boat, working in complete thematic harmony with the Tudor era.

Mock of the bay

Follow the link to one of the finest Tudorbethans this side of the San Andreas fault.

Hopefully it'll fall in one day soon.

Mock the boat, don't mock the boat, baby.

Here's the side view of 3 Angove Lane, Bicton.

The subtle Tudorbethan window casings, I think, are perfectly complemented by the powerboat, gazebo and pizza oven.

Mocktuda triangle

This wonderful specimen at 3 Angove Lane in Bicton proves Western Australia's love affair with Mock Tudor is not merely due to the state's seemingly endless supplies of asbestos and asbestos cladding.

It was built in the late 1980s or early 1990s, well after asbestos Hardiflex was outlawed as a building product.

Unfortunately, there's no such legislation banning bad taste.

Money for mockin' and your pics for free

Mock Tudor shocker London Court is one of 32 places to share in this year’s Western Australian Heritage Council grants program.

WA Heritage Minister Michelle Roberts on October 25 announced the cutesy shopping arcade would receive $80,000 for structural works.

“London Court is without a doubt one of the most photographed buildings in Perth," Mrs Roberts extolled. "It is well loved by locals and visitors alike."

“The grant will help make sure the clock tower, its four knights and the unique shops can be enjoyed for many years to come.”

Mrs Roberts omitted mention of London Court's mock Tudor garbage bins. She did however note the mock Tudor mall was celebrating its 70th birthday this year.

“The idea of London Court," she spruiked, "was conceived by miner and entrepreneur Claude de Bernales, a figure who features prominently in WA’s history.

"Its unusual British mock Tudor architecture provided ‘a piece of the old home land’ in Perth."

Defying logic, London Court is on Western Australia's register of heritage places.

“The state register celebrates heritage places that are important to all Western Australians,” Mrs Roberts wrapped up, overlooking those Western Australians with any pretensions to good taste.